Senior Finale

There isn’t very much advice to give except to be willing to talk about your personal goals. It seems like this class is something that brings out the things you haven’t been able to reach for. This class is a great way to vent and even seek advice. The blog post that was my favorite was the Riff On Opening Lines because it brought out my inner child. I never knew my imagination could stretch that far to create such a great child’s story. The one most valuable thing that I’ve learned from this class would have to be learning to love the internet. This class is all online and if you don’t have the slightest idea how the internet works you’re in for a great surprise.

A Fine Line

                                                          Best Things

1.       I have a funny but sarcastic humor

2.       Honest

3.       Driving

4.       Working fast but hardly working

5.       Personality

6.       Dancing

7.       Money

8.       Appropriate when I go out

9.       Gratitude; always willing to help anyone out.

10.   vehicle

                                                              Worst Things

11.   temper

12.   Brutally Honest

13.   Sarcasm

14.   Road rage

15.   Flustered

16.   Stressed

17.   Effort to get dressed in the morning in a decent amount of time

18.   Seriousness

19.   Work first

20.   Vehicle cleanliness

Epilogue

During this class I have learned many things that I was not aware of before. This class really had me look deep within what I am as a person and also helped bring back old memories. An average person is always looking for new things to help better their lives and themselves as a person and there could be a list that goes on and on but the main thing I would want to work on the most would have to be my attitude towards people. I don’t have an attitude per say I just get so stressed out and let all my emotions bottle up inside to where I’m real short with people and I don’t want to put up with anyone or anything.  To be honest this assignment hasn't really helped me on my writing, it has just gotten me to write more and dig for better details to finish an assignment. It seems that all this class is therapy in a blog. Some of these assignments have been a little hard to endure because the blogs that we post are a little repetitive. Although, this class has helped me think more in depth of what my future plans and goals are going to be and where my life stands today. I had a strange childhood and growing up I have learned to block out my memories because there seemed to be nothing but bad to remember and these assignments have helped recover those memories that I have forgotten and let me share them with people so they can understand why I am the person I am today.

Impatient: Going through this assignment I've noticed that there are many times that I have mentioned how I have a short temper and I think this best describes me because I do have a small tolerance for irritating people but what irritates me doesn't usually affect an average person.

Extrovert: I can get along with just about anyone. I have never really been one to be in a said “clique” I have always been friends with everyone but there is always that time when I let my emotions get ahead of me and it can push people away but in the end if they were to be my true friends then they would understand and stick around and except for the apology that follows.

Caring: I have always been one to care more about another person and their needs then for myself .I care more about making another person happy even if it does not make me feel good at all. I have been treated so poorly several times throughout my life that I want the best for other people. It takes me a little to warm up so someone but once I do I’ll become a better friend then you could ever think of becoming for me. Not a day goes by that I am not used for someone’s own benefit but as long as they’re happy, I’m happy. 

Valuable Lessons

1.       Be careful with who you trust:

a.       Your friends are not always who you think they are they can be more of an enemy than a friend.

2.       Always drive behind the car speeding ahead of you:

a.       If you are in a hurry and you’re speeding down the road always drive be hind the car that is speeding as well because that car will be the first one on the police radar and that car will get pulled over and you get to drive on without a ticket.

3.       Always use Google maps for your GPS on your phone.

a.       I took a three hour drive to go to Iola Kansas for the first time by myself and never being out that way before I used my GPS on my phone. Well turns out that GPS wasn’t accurate so I missed my exit 3 times on the way up there and twice on my way back. I did so many illegal U-turns it on the highway it wasn’t even funny. Always, always have a good GPS system.

4.       Don’t be the “middle-man”:

a.       My parents have been divorced since I was six and I was always the “middle-man” for all my step siblings and that caused me a lot of stress keeping up with everyones secrets.

5.       Don’t pick sides, stick with your own opinion.

a.       Having a split family was hard because  my parents always wanted me to pick sides between them and they both had their own good points they were also wrong with some of their other opinions so I just learned to stick with my own and do what I thought was right and through the years now, I’ve realized that neither side was the right way to go.

6.       Not all advice is the best advice.

a.       Referring back to dumber 4 and always being the “middle-man” I was always asked for advice from my older and younger siblings. I would always try to give them my most honest and heartfelt advice to help them out but when the shoe was on the other foot I would usually end up getting into a lot of trouble.

7.       Always watch the side roads while driving:

a.       Even though you might be driving in the city or through town Mother Nature will always find a way to surprise you. Drive through Joplin from work a deer ran out of nowhere and just about hit my car. Now I always make sure I pay attention to ALL sides of the road.

8.       Don’t wait until the last minute:

a.       I have found that when I wait until the last minute to do things they usually get done really good but it is always such a huge amount of stress on me and that’s why I always try to get things done in a timely matter that way it gets done completely right and I don’t have to stress over it.

9.       Check the weather before you was your car:

a.       I live on two dirt roads so it’s hard to keep my white car clean from mud, dirt, and bugs but when I do end up cleaning my car I put a lot of time and effort into it. We’re talking the whole nine yards with hand washing it and polishing the wheels and waxing it down, everything. And then with just my luck, it always seems to rain the next day.

10.   Drive partially slow on back roads:

a.       I love driving down back roads because it gets out of traffic but it never fails that you seem to find the biggest pothole there is and blow a tire out..

Gone But Never Forgotten

Twenty years from now these are the qualities I want to remember about myself:

1.     I’m a hard worker and have always had a job.

2.     I’m good at managing my money

3.     I have and have always had very high responsibilities and expectations

4.     I’m a lot of fun when you get to know me but the real question is if I want you to know me. I tend to be very skeptical of people.

5.     I was told by my dad that maybe I shouldn’t get comfortable with people because I tend to let loose and cuss like a sailor.

6.     Rodeos are my thing but I don’t compete in them.

7.     School has always been easy for me and I’ve always had good grades.

8.     I have a tendency to get into an attitude to where I don’t care about anything and when I say “I don’t care” I really don’t.

9.     I am usually nice but I have a very short fuse so if you make me angry you will feel my wrath.

10.                        I have two types of “angry” and it really just depends on what you do to make me mad. The angrier I am and depending on who you are, I will be your worst nightmare. But usually if it just something small and I don’t know you too well I’ll just be real quiet and be hateful. When I’m that way I usually just want to be left alone before things get worse.

11.                        I have two mustangs. I’m not a big fan of them but I still drive them and people tend to think there cool, but I don’t care.

12.                        I get along with anyone and everyone, just don’t make me mad.

13.                        I tend to people watch. I picked this up from my mom.

14.                        At time I can be a little judgmental at first but it’s only because of how you present yourself. I will give you a chance to change my mind but if you screw it up I don’t want to waste my time with you.

15.                        Time is of the essence. I hate being late and wasting time, always have and I always will.

16.                        I love to go out and meet new people I can talk to just about anyone.

17.                        I hate horses. Absolutely hate them. It’s not that I’m scared it’s just you get tired of getting bucked off after a while and it makes you not want to be around them at all.

18.                        I’m very sarcastic. People like to say I’m brutally honest when all I do is speak what’s on my mind. But may that’s not a good idea..

19.                        Parents and adults love me. Every person I’ve dated whose parents have met me make me family.

20.                        I get along better with people who are older than me. Most of my friends are older than me because our maturity is on the same level.

Never Say Good-Bye

There comes a time in life where you just have to let something go no matter how dear to you it or they are. I really do not want to do this right now; I honestly do not want to do it ever. It is so hard to bring this out for I know that it will be the last time to say goodbye. There is so much I want to share with you whether it is physical experiences such as created a bucket list and checking things off one by one and living the dream or  just sitting with you and talking about all our childhood memories and our goals and what-ifs. Everything happens for a reason and for some godly reason our destiny crossed paths and it was meant to be. You were, are, and always will be my best good friend. Just thinking about things and how miserable it is going to be without you here makes me want to just cry but I know that even though after what is going on you would want me to not mope around but to help cheer everybody else up and keep good spirits. I was talking with my mom the other day about our odd humor. Nobody gets us but it was ok because we understood each other, what am I to do now after you are gone? Do you think heaven have visiting hours? If so you better make sure that I am written down every day until it is my turn to venture up there. You just wait, we will drive everyone so nuts up there that they will more than likely kick us out of heaven and send us back to earth through reincarnation as a slug or something.  You will always be in my heart. Every time I see a piece of copy paper I think of you. Remember that time we covered my mom’s entire kitchen with copy paper and then took markers and drew all over it at like 5 in the morning? That was crazy. We were so scared my mom would get mad so we disposed of the evidence but we still have some pictures to remember it by. One thing that I will never forget was that song you wrote for me. It is so near and dear to my heart.

“All the stars,

They never work!

Bumping cars

Pumping gas

Bum bum bum.”

That, my friend, is pure poetry. Our friendship goes together like Nutella and Bananas; Tacos and Ketchup; Oreos and Peanut butter. The point is, we’re so different and you can’t really see us being friends but when we’re put together we are just amazing. I know that this is long and sappy but there is so much I want to talk with you about before you go and you probably don’t want to hear it but I just want to tell you now so you can hear for yourself that I love you best good friend you will always be my Starshine just as long as I’m always your moonbeam. It’s hard for me to say good bye because Shelby was my best friend. We had such a weird humor that nobody understood but we didn’t care. There was never a time that we weren’t together and laughing. We both have one of those laughs that are loud and obnoxious because we were just that awesome.

In Other Words

1.      “You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality."

- Ayn Rand (1905-1982)

 

2.      “It is a curious subject of observation and inquiry, whether hatred and love be not the same thing at bottom. Each, in its utmost development, supposes a high degree of intimacy and heart-knowledge; each renders one individual dependent for the food of his affections and spiritual life upon another; each leaves the passionate lover, or the no less passionate hater, forlorn and desolate by the withdrawal of his object.”
― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

3.      “She wanted—what some people want throughout life—a grief that should deeply touch her, and thus humanize and make her capable of sympathy.”
― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

4.      “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
― Buddha
“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
―Will Smith

5.    “Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.”
―Sai Baba

6.      “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.”
―Harvey Fierstein

7.      “The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”
―Eminem

8.      “Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.”
Anton Chekhov

9.      “Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life.”
―John F. Kennedy

10.  “When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.”
―Madeleine L'Engle

Synetics

1.      Which is like a valentine? the truth or a lie?

a.       This question can be a bit hard to answer because when getting a Valentine you can only hope for the truth. In all reality people only tell people what they want to hear to make them happy.

2.      Which is more useful? a friend or an enemy?

a.       A friend can be very useful for personal information and someone to talk to. An enemy is more useful because they give you someone to talk about with your friends.

3.      Which is easier to close? a road or a map?

a.       Some may say a map is easier to close but is it really? With all the different which ways you can fold it the key is finding the correct patter of which the paper is creased. A road is easier to close because all you have to do is put up a simple road block and boom, road closed in one try.

4.      Which is more difficult? a dream or a nightmare?

a.       A nightmare can be difficult for the time being but you will soon forget. A dream is more difficult because when you have a dream it’s hard to tell if it was just a dream or a memory.

5.      Which is wiser? a pen or pencil?

a.       A pencil can be wise because you can erase a mistake that has been made but a pen is wiser. When writing with a pen if you show know mistakes or grammatical errors it shows that you are very advanced in your literature and more official.

6.      Which is smarter? A clock or a calendar?

a.       A calendar can help you plan for the future but who makes the calendars? A clock is smarter because they run time on their own, they know when to tick and when not to tock. A calendar is just mere paper of which a person prints the dates and may even sometimes be wrong. If the time is off it can always be corrected and be right back on track.

7.      Which is like a promise? Mathematics or science?

a.       Mathematics and science are very similar. Science is a lot of trial and error and you will never know what the true outcome should be. In math there is always an answer to your problem it’s just a matter of solving it.

8.      Which is easier to teach? a question or an answer?

a.       It’s easy to teach a question but its better in the long run to teach an answer. If you teach an answer you won’t have any problems with being asked stupid questions.

9.      Which has less charm? a signature or an autograph?

a.       Some can argue that a signature and an autograph are very similar but one is more official then the other. A signature has no charm at all for it is used to give approval. An autograph is given to be remembered and cherished by the fan that is being charmed.

10.  Which is more fearful? new or old?

a.       What’s in the past stays in the past but no one really knows what there is to come in the future. New is more fearful because you’ll never know what will happen and whether it can help or hurt you.  Whereas if something is old you already know what it’s like and where it’s been.

 

Unfinished Sentences

1. I usually worry about the littlest things. I tend to stress myself out about things that wouldn’t even matter to the average person. Here lately what I have been worrying about is money. I’ve been without a job for two months and my dad was just recently injured at work so he can no longer work as well. I found and am now working for two restaurants but they are both in Joplin so my income goes towards gas. What I bring home is what we depend on for bills and I’m scared that I won’t meet the standards for our home.

2. I feel angry when people do irritating things. I can sometimes overreact about things that have no reason to be mad over. I have a short fuse and I’m partially bi-polar. Here lately do to all of my stress I’ve been having it has been causing me to have a shorter fuse. One thing that irritates me so bad is when people cause their own drama and then act like they don’t know why everyone hates them and complains about it all of the time. I have problems of my own so why would I want to hear about yours.

3. I’m moody when I’m really stressed out. When I stress about things whether it be school, work, or money, I tend to be a little cranky. I’ll get irritated over the littlest things and snap at anyone even if it’s a minor situation. I’ve noticed that I snap more at the people closest to me because I know that they’ll forgive me. Usually after I’ve had a scene I’ll go back and apologize and explain why I’m so stressed out.

4. I’m happiest when the weekend is here. The weekend is my time to relax. I do work on the weekends but they day I look forward most are Saturdays. On Saturdays I go to Springfield and stay at my buddy’s house and just relax worry free and have a good time. Usually all we do is watch movies and talk but that’s all I need to relax. It gives me a chance to vent and get advice from someone I can really trust and look up to.   

5. I feel confident when I’m at work. When I’m at work I feel like a completely different person. I’m all serious and in the zone. When I work I take things serious so I can get my job done get good tips and go home. I feel great being able to be independent and not have to depend on anyone else. That is one of my biggest things.

6. I feel frustrated when school and work clash. Here recently I was doing track and absolutely loved it. I had everything figured out just fine to where I could do both. But since my dad got hurt I had to take on a second job so now I’ll be working seven days a week and double shifts on the weekends so I had to quit track. I didn’t want to and I miss it so much but it just had to be done.

7. I feel depressed when my mom calls me. My mom and I aren’t on very good terms and we haven’t been for about two years now. After what happened and the cause of me moving back she didn’t even talk to me for the longest time and said I was no longer welcome to her home. Things are getting a little bit better but it’s still a little awkward when I go over to visit or when we have a family gathering. I’ve noticed here recently that my mother only says “I love you” when she wants something from me. Generally that’s supposed to be the other way around, but she’s my mother. I don’t really know, I guess she still has a grudge against me.

8. I am comfortable when I’m around my friend Lumi. When we hangout I can just relax and have no worries. All we usually do is just watch movies and talk. I think it’s the same for him as well because we are both just so busy with work or other life matters and we both stress ourselves out. We give each other someone to talk to about personal things or even just to vent about stuff going on here lately. Hanging out with him just helps me get away from things and really get comfortable and take a load off. If I didn’t have Lumi I’d probably go insane.

9. I feel nervous when my gas light goes off and I have no money. One of my main stress points is about not having gas. There is never a day that goes by that I don’t have to drive. I have to drive about twenty miles just to get to school every day. After school I go to Monett to help with the store and then go home and get ready for actual work and then drive to Joplin and back home. Eighty percent of my day is driving. It has gotten to the point that I can’t sit at my house very long without wanting to go somewhere else. It sucks because I’m broke but I have to have gas to get to school and work. The closest gas station to me from home is eight miles away and their gas isn’t any good. I just always get worried that I’m going to be stuck on the side of the road with no gas and no one to help me making me late to school or work.

10. I feel sentimental when I go see my best friend in Springfield. My friend and I have been crushing on each other for over a year but neither one of us really admitted to it because we were afraid that it would cause problems between our families and my job. When we first met we flirted a little with each other but then realized that he was 23 and I was only 17 so we just stuck to being friends and only talking when we were working together. He waited 9 ½ months until I turned 18 and took me out for my birthday. We’ve been talking since then and each time we hangout we get closer.

Sensory Experience- Burning Barn

Sight:

Watching my brother stand there with a guilty look on his face as he realizes what he’s done. Soon there’s nothing around but silhouettes of barn equipment and flames. Looking for a way out and watching the smoke vent out through a window that’s bursting with freedom of blue skies and brightness. Watching as the flames creep closer when all of a sudden something, someone comes bursting through the smoke.

 Smell:

The wonderful smell of autumn throughout the air while running through the pasture. While stepping into the barn that smelt of gasoline and hay encircling us when soon came the familiar smell a match that came around when our mother was to light a cigarette. Shortly things changed and the wonderful smells turned into distant memories and became horrible seared odors, some of which I’ve never experienced before only being four years of age. Soon my nose began to burn and was no longer able to use my sense of smell.

Hear:

Crackling of fire surrounding the room and the quick gasp of fear from a little boys lungs. A terrified mother screaming for help and for the safety of her children while crunching through the brush of the field.

Taste:

Every breath or attempt for help brings in a nasty burnt taste of hay and dirt filling up my mouth making my tongue dry and thick. Salty tears rolling down my face while standing there immobile. When finally broken free of the smoky hell I’m welcomed with the taste of fresh air so soothing and welcoming.  

Touch:

Searching for a way out and finding nothing but an old splintered barn wall, pressing my body against it hoping to find a way out. Every breath of air is smoke clouding up my lungs creating a god awful cough making my throat feel like I’m coughing up sand paper and trying to catch my breath with a huge weight on my chest. Being jerked up and feeling pressure against my arms of familiar hands, the hands of a mother. Then feeling my body hit the cold hard ground and the fear of death for myself turning into the fear of my mother’s safety.

Extended Metaphors

If I were a word I would be the word honest because I’m honest about everything and speak my mind. I tend to get the sarcastic trait from my dad. When somebody says something or complains I usually have a very quick response and most of the time it’s not very nice. Some people say that I’m brutally honest because when I say what I do there isn’t really anything you can say back because it’s true. I live by what my mom always said and that’s the truth hurts.

 

If I were a cartoon character I would be Jerry off of Tom and Jerry. Ever since I was little my brother and I have always butted heads. It’s strange because we are the closer of all the siblings but we also fight the most. We always have to be better than the other. Our relationship that we have resembles Tom and Jerry so much its priceless.

 

If I were a type of building I would be a barn. Growing up my grandma always used to ask me if I was born in a barn. I was a bit of a wild child. It cracks me up looking back on all the crazy things my brothers and I would do to aggravate my grandma. We were always outside and running wild. My grandma used to yell at us and say she was going to bust our britches and we would just laugh and laugh and run back outside.

The Ultimate All-Purpose Excuse

When I was about 16 I went through a huge rebel phase. I was always one of those people that if you challenged me to do something I would prove I could do it no matter what or how stupid it was. My parents had been kind of strict and had no idea that I had started heading towards the wrong crowd. One day I was sitting in my commons area at school when this boy that I had a huge crush on and had been talking to for a while came up to me and suggested that we should skip school together. Knowing that I was a great student and that my parents would kill me if I ruined things then I would get a big butt whooping. I told him no I couldn't because I also had auditions for show choir that night and didn't want to have to miss out. He just kept insisting and insisting so finally I gave in. Before the bell even rang for dismissal we together walked out the side door of the building and to my car. Neither one of us had any idea where we were going to go or what we were going to do but we didn't have a place to hangout because all our friends were at home. We went to McDonalds for about an hour and then we went to my friend Kim's house since her brother was home and watched a movie. we eventually got bored and decided we should probably head back to school, with our alibies set in stone and the feeling of being invincible, we walked in. He went in first and made it to class with no trouble. Then it was my turn. I told the office that I had an appointment with my lawyer and she took my word knowing that my parents were in the middle of a court battle for child support and I was a good kid with all A's and there was no way they should second guess me. She gave me an admit slip and sent me to class. When I got to class I told all my friends how I didn't get caught but I had spoken too soon. The secretary came back to get me and took me to the office. My heart sunk to the floor when I say my mom and step dad sitting there looking at me. I asked if the school called and my mom said no they were just curious as to why infinite campus showed that I was gone for three hours. My mind was reeling for excuses and the best i could come up with was I fell asleep in my car. My mom looked at me and I thought I was caught, she gave me her mom look. I then broke down and started crying and they believed my story. I said that I was so stressed out about show choir try-outs they I accidently fell asleep in my car in the school parking lot since I had to take my sisters to school that morning and when I woke up I freaked out. My mom made me tell the assistant principle that I lied when I came in because I didn't want to get into trouble and I got three 9th hours. But they were all forgiving and I didn't get into trouble at home. Eventually I didn't even have to serve those 9th hours because they trusted me and deep down in the back of my head a voice told me that I should tell the whole truth because there was guilt building up inside but in the end I left it alone and nothing else happened.

Recipe for the perfect Mickenzie:

2 cups of sarcasm

3 cups of striving

2tsp of anger

5 cups of love

7 cups of happiness

4tsp of annoyance

1 cup of stress

4 cups of knowledge

3 cups of humor

4 cups of beautiful

Step 1: First you mix 2tsp of anger, 4tsp of annoyance, and 1 cup of stress you’ll get one mean Mickenzie but don’t forget the 7 cups of happiness to help level everything out and to a smooth mix.

Step 2: Then in a separate bowl pour in 3 cups of strive, 4 cups of knowledge, and 3 cups of humor, you’ll get a big bowl of a good worker and great employee.

Step 3: In a big bowl mix all the ingredients from step one and step two together and add 5 cups of love and 4 cups of beautiful and lay it out in a pan. Bake for 18 years and you’ll get the Perfect Mickenzie.